Use Spirituality as a Tool. Some people say theyre spiritual; some go to church regularly. But the real test of your spirituality is to apply it skillfully when you need it to solve real-life issues. That is, can you think before you act? Can you use things such as deep breathing, meditation, and prayer to help you be humble, compassionate, and empathetic when youre under high stress or when you have a family crisis? That ability and skill is really at the heart of what transcendence is all about. So what do you do? It means doing things like counting to ten before overreacting with emotion in an argument with a spouse or family member. It means slowing down the thought process so youre really thinking through problems and conflicts and using your authentic being to address issues. It means asking yourself not what your spiritual leader of choice would do about a conflict but what he or she would feel about this challenge. You want to tap into your heart more than control a behavior. And it means taking an issue one step further than its surface-level solution. So, for example, if a child is starting to get bad grades at school, find out what else is going on in the childs life.