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FOR AN ALL-NIGHT (OR ALL-MORNING) ROMP
Yes, in a long-term relationship, marathon sex may feel like a luxury you can't really afford, but it shouldn't be off the table altogether. "Make a special point to carve out more time together and dedicate it to sex," Kerner says. The two of you are worth putting something else on hold for.
- Play tennis. Or run together, or climb a mountain, or play a board game. Anything competitive will do. "Competition will spike both of your testosterone levels for extended periods of time," Haltzman says. Translation? You'll be randier for longer.
- Give him a pomegranate martini and a smile. According to a new study from Sussex University, pomegranate juice boosts men's sex drive. The men in the study were found to kiss more passionately after drinking the juice and looked at photos of scantily clad women 16-percent longer than other men. Bottoms up!
- Plan a trip and pack light. Surprise him with a vacation to a beachy destination. Give him the tickets, a skimpy bikini, and note that says, "This is the only thing I'll be wearing the entire time." He'll get the idea. Or, if your budget is tight at the moment, try turning your home into a spa for the night. Take a bubble bath, light oodles of candles, give each other massages, and remind him that the same rules apply: only your teeny-weeny bikini or birthday suits allowed.
FOR MAKE-UP MOJO
Big blowups used to mean steamy reunions afterward. Now that life (and fights) are more complex, sex is often the furthest thing from your mind in the wake of an argument. But getting physical might be the very best thing you can do. "Sex is healing," explains Kerner. "It can take you to a place where words often can't."
- Be ready to forgive. "If you want to have make-up sex, you have to be willing to make the first move," Kerner says. "A lot of guys won't initiate make-up sex because they feel like their ego is on the line." Saying a simple "I'm sorry" takes the pressure off him and can get the ball rolling in the right direction (toward the bedroom).
- Tell a joke. Sometimes after a big blowout, the best way to push things in a more harmonious direction is to lighten the mood. "Often after a fight with my wife, there will be a period of silence. Then she'll walk over to me and say, 'What am I going to do about you?' " Kerner says. "It's playful, close, and affectionate, and signals that the fight is over. Often it leads to really great sex too." Try a flirtatious smile to diffuse the tension in the situation, or a sexy joke. You'll send him the message that it's time to kiss and make up. Literally.
- Hug him. "Once you're in his arms and pressing your body up against his, unless he's suffering from hormonal imbalance, he's going to shift his thinking toward sex," Haltzman says. If all else fails: "Take your clothes off and say, 'I want to have sex.' " Before long, neither of you will even remember what you were fighting about.