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FOR SWEET LOVIN'
Sometimes you want to have sex just to rekindle the intimacy with your man and he probably does too. "It's the reason missionary is still the most popular position in the world," Kerner says. "It's about the face-to-face connection, the sharing of affection and emotions." So ramp up the tenderness for a sweet, slow session.
- Make eye contact. When men look at pictures of women in the buff, they're more likely to look at a woman's face first, according to a study by researchers at Emory University. Why? Women can easily tell by looking at naked men whether guys are in the mood, says psychologist and study author Kim Wallen, but women's bodies don't reveal much, which could be why men zoom in on their faces. "It's cryptic," Wallen says, "but facial expressions are one way of showing an indication of interest in and enjoyment of sex." Staring into your lover's eyes lets him know that you're as into him as he is into you.
- Massage his feet. Tickle his back, or rub his belly anything that makes him feel relaxed. "Stress is one of the biggest obstacles when it comes to arousal for men," says Sharon Moalem, Ph.D., author of How Sex Works. "If you can counteract his cortisol [or stress] levels by relaxing him, then you can set the mood for connective sex." In other words, he'll be able to concentrate on you rather than on those Excel reports due on Friday.
- Look at old pictures together. By doting on memories the two of you have made, you'll trigger those same feelings of overwhelming love (and lust) you had at the beginning of your relationship. "My wife and I will go back and look at photos of the two of us in Italy before we got married or photos from our honeymoon," Kerner says. "It always evokes a feeling of tenderness, wistfulness, and affection."
FOR THE QUINTESSENTIAL QUICKIE
There's a reason they called that old game Seven Minutes in Heaven: because passion can hit even higher levels when it comes in bite-size pieces.
- Try the 90-second make-out. If time is really short, passionately kiss, touch, fondle, and fool around for a minute and a half. "It doesn't always have to lead to sex, though it certainly can," says Kerner. "But even that short amount of time is enough to get you hot and build anticipation for the next time you can touch each other."
- Make a sex date. Know that your kids will be watching Dora the Explorer when they get home from school? Tell your guy you'll have a 15-minute window of opportunity at 4 p.m. and wink. It's an appointment he's sure to keep.
- Text for sex. If you heat things up when you're apart, you'll both be boiling over once you get together. "I have a friend who texted her husband one morning, 'Burning with desire,' " says Haltzman. "On his lunch break, he showed up at home, ready to take her up on her promise. Just knowing that his partner is thinking about it is enough to get any man in the mood."