Survivor Diary: Shawn Tesser

I was diagnosed on...
"St. Patrick's Day, March 17, 2010. My doctor called with my biopsy results, and I was waiting for her to tell me that everything was fine—instead there was a measured pause. Everywhere I went that day, people were dressed up in green and having a good time, and I was in a slow-motion daze. I will remember that phone call for the rest of my life."

My immediate reaction was...
"That no matter what, I would be okay. That thought has stayed consistent throughout, but the experience of what that actually means has changed continuously. From diagnosis to fact-finding and decision-making, and then enduring surgery, complications, chemotherapy, and treatment, I had no way of knowing what was around the next corner. But even during the lowest lows, I told myself I would be okay, and I continue to believe that."

Now, breast cancer means to me...
"Shit happens. Life can take an unscripted turn at a moment's notice. Cancer has reminded me to try and live in the moment and enjoy the journey. Most of all, cancer has shown me that I know how to fight for myself."

I'd tell someone recently diagnosed with breast cancer...
"Talk to a fellow patient. The day I was diagnosed, I spoke to a friend-of-a-friend, Pam, who had recently undergone a double mastectomy. She shared her story, and it wasn’t what she said, but how she said it, that gave me hope—she was so upbeat and positive. Cancer undoubtedly means different things to different people, but the one common denominator is fear. Pam alleviated my worst fears by candidly telling me hers. And the biggest gift I can give someone who was just diagnosed or facing chemo, is to talk to her and answer her questions honestly, because I’m doing great, and I’ve come a long way, and she will, too.”

I'm pretty fantastic at...
"Doing whatever it takes to get my nieces to laugh. At this point, though, I’m pretty sure they’re laughing at me, not with me!"

The things that keep me strong are...
"Faith and love. I believe in my medical team, and I have faith in myself. When I was diagnosed, I made a promise that I would always stand up for myself and be my own best friend. I felt so lucky to be diagnosed at an early stage and young enough to really face the cancer head on. My family and friends have also stepped up for me in a way that can only be described as humbling."

I spend my time...
"Doing whatever makes me feel good. Right now that means trying new ways to exercise and planning trips I'd like to take."

I get stressed out by...
"Running late, forgetting things, and losing my cell phone. Bad drivers and rude people also push my buttons, but my real angst is saved for more important issues, like love and money.”

I unwind by...
"Running outside and reminding myself to take in the scenery. Cleaning and organizing my home is also like therapy for me." [Editor's note: Shawn is running the New York City Marathon to raise money for breast cancer screening. Click here to visit her donation page.]

If I were to stand in the middle of the street and scream something, it would be...
"Seriously?!"

Hope is...
"Believing in possibility. Hope alone, though, is just a dream. When you combine it with some kind of mindful action, that’s when you find your real power."

Breast cancer is...
"A defining chapter in my life, but by no means is it my whole story. Breast cancer is complicated and emotional, it has both terrified and transformed me."