I love my husband, but after several years together the passion just isn't there. How can I heat things up again?
Complacency creates more complacency, doesn't it? And it sounds like your fireworks are experiencing a very short fuse. Let's start with some new little sparklers and celebrate your marriage.
The key word is "new," since nothing is more of a drag on a stale relationship than going backwards and using old tricks. Why deposit more in your bank account of compare and despair when you can invest in a new account of pleasure-centered desires? You might just become an instantly sexy, passionate woman.
Here are seven easy ways to reignite your attraction starting now:
1. Send him sexy text message. Can't think of something seductive to write? Try "C U 2nite. Pants optional" or treat him to a naughty photo.
2. Wake up and do it. Men's testosterone peaks between 7 and 8 a.m. so take advantage of this fun fact and have sex with him a few minutes after the alarm goes off so you have a chance to wake up a bit before getting it on.
3. Imagine an afternoon delight. Pretend that you and your husband had the chance for a mid-day sex session. Fantasize about where you'd go and what you'd do then share your vision with him. Even if you never get the chance to make it happen, it's fun to talk about your daytime romp.
4. Have a mini make out session. This tip comes from my friend Deborah Nelson, founder of Saucy Wellness who recommends spontaneously kissing your man for 10 seconds.
5. Serve yourself for dessert. It sounds silly and cheesy because it is. But it can also be really fun and flirty. Try feeding each other juicy fruit like peaches, strawberries, or melon. Grab some yummy ice cream toppings from the kitchen such as whipped cream and chocolate syrup and turn your body into the sexiest sundae he's ever seen.
6. Sleep naked. If you're a pajama pants and big T-shirt kind of girl, than hitting the hay in the buff will make you feel a thousand times sexier, which will in turn, get you in the mood.
Hope this sets off some fireworks. If you are still reading and haven't sent him that text, go back to tip one immediately!
Dame Lori is a pleasure expert who has worked with thousands of men and women, teaching them to express themselves with sex and seduction. For more info and great advice, check out Dame Lori's blog, The Dame Game.